Bizarre Baldness Cures Through History

“Zero hairfall” isn’t just a modern dream — it’s been a relentless obsession for thousands of years!
Because hair isn’t just hair — it’s confidence, identity, and a whole vibe. From ancient kings to modern influencers, everyone has chased luscious locks.

Think hair loss is just a Gen-Z problem? Think again.
Let’s time-travel through history and explore the wildest (and weirdest) hair regrowth treatments ever attempted — from porcupine hair potions to suction-powered helmets.

1. Ancient Egyptian Mega-Mix (1550 BC)

Before Instagram filters, Egyptian Pharaohs cooked up their own wild hair potions:

• Fats from hippos, crocodiles, cats, snakes, and ibexes
• Boiled porcupine hair applied to the scalp for four days
• Greyhound leg and donkey hoof for added “effect”

👑 “Royal wigs were basically the first beauty filters.”

2. Hippocrates’ Spicy Bald Cure (460 BC)

The “Father of Medicine” was famously bald. His recommended blend included:

• Opium
• Horseradish
• Pigeon droppings
• Beetroot
• Various spices

He also noted eunuchs never went bald and considered castration as a solution. (Modern science partially agrees, but no thanks!)

💬 Gen-Z says: “Bro, just use rosemary oil.”

3. Julius Caesar’s Combover & Cleopatra’s Mouse Paste

When Caesar started losing hair, he grew his back hair long and combed it forward — the original combover.

Meanwhile, Cleopatra tried her own recipe: ground-up mice, horse teeth, and bear grease. When that failed, Caesar just rocked a laurel wreath like a true boss.

👑 “Wreaths: Not just for poets, but for patchy scalps too!”

4. French Powdered Wigs (1600s)

King Louis XIII started the powdered wig trend, turning hairpieces into a status symbol. American colonists followed suit until the Revolution cut the style short.

🎩 “Wigs were the OG blue ticks of high society.”

5. Snake Oil & Scam Tonics (1800s USA)

The “7 Sutherland Sisters” sold their miracle hair grower — boosted by their circus-like fame and ultra-long hair. The product? Probably alcohol, perfume, and clever marketing.

⚠️ Gen-Z alert: “Scam detected!”

6. Cold Tea & Lemon Rinse (1800s England)

English users applied cold India tea and lemon juice hoping to regrow hair. The result? Maybe a fresher scalp, but certainly no miracle regrowth.

🍋 “When life gives you lemons... rub them on your bald head?”

7. Thermocaps & Hot Hats (1920s)

The “Thermocap” claimed to revive hair follicles using heat and blue light. In 1923, Popular Mechanics hyped it as a game-changer. It wasn’t.

8. Xervac Vacuum Helmet (1936)

This helmet used scalp suction to “stimulate hair growth.” You could rent one for home use or try it at your local barber. Just sit back and relax — cigarette optional.

🧠 “Early self-care: Let the vacuum handle your vibe.”

9. Hair Transplants Begin (1939–Now)

A Japanese dermatologist pioneered hair transplants using grafts from other body parts in 1939.

The 1960s brought us awkward “doll hair” looks, but modern transplants offer much more natural results.

🎯 Finally, science got it right!